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Funny Day Cards

Free printable funny Christmas cards

Christmas cards for the people who will actually read the inside. Every card here is a free PDF: print it on your home printer, fold it, write their name, done.

The cards

  • MerryChristmasfrom theperson whotouched thethermostat.
    It was 64 degrees inthere. I'd do it again. Seeyou at the kids' table.

    The Thermostat War

    Safe for the office

  • Everymorning theneighbor'sinflatableSanta lookslike a crimescene.
    Every evening he risesagain. If that's not theChristmas spirit, I don'tknow what is.

    The Lawn Inflatable

    Safe for the office

  • The familygroupchat has214 unreadmessagesabout theham.
    I haven't read any ofthem. Whatever wedecided, I'm bringing rolls.Merry Christmas.

    The Family Group Chat

    Safe for the office

  • I boughtyour giftin August.
    Then I hid it somewherevery safe. MerryChristmas. You'll get it theday the house gives itback.

    Gift Logistics

    Safe for the office

  • I drewyour namein theoffice giftexchange.
    I spent $25 and threehours. If you swap it forthe gift card, I'llunderstand. Eventually.

    The Office Holidays

    Safe for the office

  • OurFamily'sYear inReview
    Nobody got promoted.We went nowhere. Thedog ate a sock andrecovered. We're veryproud. Merry Christmas.

    The Honest Holiday Letter

    Safe for the office

Want their name on the front?

The card generator puts their name and your own message on one of six designs, in Christmas colors.

Make a Christmas card

How to print and fold it

Plain printer paper works. Card stock in the 65 to 80 lb range feels like a store card and still feeds through most home printers.

Quarter-fold, 4.25 x 5.5 in

  1. Print the PDF on one side of a US Letter sheet at 100% scale ("Actual size", not "Fit to page").
  2. Fold the sheet in half from top to bottom, printed side out. The small marks at the edges show where.
  3. Fold it in half again so the front design faces out and the fold is on its left. Write inside, sign it, done.

Half-fold, 5 x 7 in

  1. Print both pages on one sheet, two-sided, at 100% scale, flipping on the short edge. No two-sided printing? Print page 1, then feed the same sheet back in for page 2. Try it on plain paper first to learn which way your printer feeds.
  2. Cut on the corner marks with scissors or a paper trimmer. You end up with a 10 x 7 inch piece.
  3. Fold it in half on the center marks. That is a 5 x 7 card for a standard A7 envelope.

Frequently asked questions

Are these Christmas cards really free?

Yes. Every card on this page is a free PDF with no account, no email and no watermark. Print as many as you need.

Who writes the jokes?

Every card is picked and signed off by Beau Branton before it is published here. Drafts that do not make the cut never become cards.

Can I add a name or my own message?

Write it by hand inside the printed card, or use the card generator to make a card with their name and your own words on it.